Exam

If we look back at our history, the precious history of humanity, we will notice that exams have always been there and have always been used to test the knowledge of the examined. But have you ever thought of why exams are there, why they exist, and if they really test the knowledge and smartness of the person being examined, or are they only there to test how well you can memorize or cram some information. Looking back at almost fifteen (15) years of my life, I have realized that throughout my whole life I have been examined time and time again and some if not all of my written exams were pointless.

It is true that exams instill a feeling of confidence and might teach us a lot, but aren’t other methods of teaching more useful? Are exams supposed to throw questions at us with a possibility of one answer depending on what we memorized, or several answers depending on creativity or real smartness or even practicality? Whatever the answers are, my opinion on exams might defer from you dear reader. To me exams should exist not to test our knowledge, but to bring out knowledge we never thought we had. I would rather be asked if my life is in harmony and how it is going to stay in harmony if I think it is, rather than “According to that person, what should you do to make your life harmonious?” Questions should bring up that feeling of creativity and self-awareness that the Almighty has gifted us with, not ask us the steps that we should follow in order to decide the path of our life.

I have been through many experiences with exams, some are simply amazing, and others are not even worth thinking about. It is true that you need exams sometimes in technical material in order to determine if you had grasped the information in the right way or if you have not grasped any of it at all, but if you think of it, is that supposed to be a personal choice or a choice put forth by the educational institute?

I am not against exams, not at all. I am against the fact that exams have turned towards complexity and memorization rather than emphasizing creativity and true knowledge. Looking back at history, was there anyone to test Thomas Edison? Did anyone test Albert Einstein? Or in a more practical world, did anyone ever question or test our beloved ancestors and how they chose to live?

I am...

All through life, you hear people telling you what you need to do to become successful, what you need to feel, what actions you need to take, how you can be successful, how you can perform in every aspect related to your own life. Most of the time you don’t think of or for yourself, you only perform, take action, try to be successful because you think it’s the right thing to do, you think its what you’re destined for.

Wanting to be something becomes a dream, a dream that you can’t grasp or ever get to, a dream that is more like a shadow you’re trying to chase throughout your life. Inspiration becomes like a script, written to you by other people, by what they see in you, by what they want you to be, or what they see you as in your future. Whenever you walk down an aisle, instead of being the person you want to be, the person you always dreamed you wanted to be, you become the person that is shaped by your surroundings, you become the person that is lost between dreams of different people. You become a shadow of your dreams instead of feeling the reality of accomplishing your dream and becoming the person you always wanted to be.

Don’t let anyone tell you what you have to be, don’t let other people’s views change you or shape your life. It is true that you do have to get shaped by your surroundings, you’re not what you are, you are what you’re surrounded with, but don’t let that get to you, don’t let that make you, don’t let that define you. Studying computer science was my life’s dream, was what I always wanted to do, was always what I really loved. As I grew, my views, my dreams, even the environment around me changed and because I changed my life’s dream, I had to change every single thing in my life. Now, my dreams differ, my dreams are my goals and all of my goals are goals that I can achieve, realistic ones. I want to be an Investment banker, I want to be married to the most beautiful girl I have ever known, I want to please my parents, and please my family. Yet, most of all I want to please myself with achieving my dreams and goals.

An outgoing person was what I was, but that is not what I have been changed to by my surroundings. The only times in my life I feel righteous, I feel I’m doing the right thing are the times I surround myself with what I love, with what I need to love, with what I need to do, with what I always dreamt of doing. Chasing myself and the things I wanted to do was all I ever wanted, and I’m finally starting to realize that, finally starting to know that.

Over the past few months, I have set my goals out straight to myself, in my mind and in my heart. I have put a plan forth, although not written, but well carved into my mind and written in pure gold. I have arranged my thoughts, planned for a life I always dreamed of. I got rid of my anxiety, the world that is trying to shape me, and most of all the effects of people on me. I cannot deny that I am who I am because of the people I’m surrounded with, but I can’t be any prouder and honored. Although I’m proud of the people around me, the kind of people that I always wanted in my life, and the great effects they have had on my world, I still won’t let anyone shape my world, shape my desires, and most of all shape my dreams for me.

What I need to be is what I want to be, what I always wanted to be, not what I believe I “could” be or what people believe I should be. I define myself, my dreams, and my reality. I am what I am and I’m going to be what I dream to be.